House is one of my favorite shows and one night there was a message that gets played out all too often in the horse world as well as the human world. A parents meets their need to be wanted, valued and accepted by smothering their child and not allowing that child to grow and develop. It takes tremendous strength and self worth to step out of the way and not only allow, but encourage your children to grow and develop to their own personal best.
One well placed kick could land you in the hospital fighting for your life.
How does this relate to horses? Whenever we hear these phrases; “He only does that when he’s scared/mad/excited,” “We don’t do that, he doesn’t like to do it,” “He doesn’t bite me,” “He wouldn’t hurt me, he loves me,” “He’s just being silly, he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body,” and my personal favorite, “He’s NEVER done that before!” Every time an excuse is made for a horses’ bad behavior we are in essence saying he can’t learn, he can’t grow.
Unless all you do is keep your horse on 50 acres of pristine pasture and have little to no contact with it, your responsibility is to help this fine animal learn how to not just exist but to thrive in the human world. You have to be willing to learn what it will take to teach your horse what you expect of him, understanding that he has no idea what bad behavior is until you let him know. Having said that, you also need to teach him behaviors that are desired of him as well.
Horses are not puppies. You cannot coddle them into doing what you want. When a 1,000+ pound animal decides to do something, no amount of talking and petting will change its mind. You have to show and teach them, help them grow and develop from a preschool level of existence to their full potential of about a 4th grade level. Always challenging them and encouraging them to stretch further.
The relationship we are looking for is a partnership, not co-dependence. Both you and the horse should be able to exist without the other, but desiring to be together. In this atmosphere a rewarding and healthy relationship can grow and flourish.
If this is more than you want with your relationship with your horse, you should consider getting a cat or maybe a hamster. It will be less dangerous to you and others when push comes to shove.
